2LML,

In a dilemma, I have a good mate, lovely girl, has a good heart but frankly shes a bit of a bore to go out with. Doesn’t have many social skills and can come across a little rude. I find myself apologising for her sometimes and when she gets drunk can be a little difficult to handle. I’ve backed off going out with her but feel mean not inviting her to stuff.

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OUR VERDICT:

It’s tough, you don’t want to be horrible but sometimes you need to be selfish otherwise you end up spending the night worrying about her instead of enjoying yourself. Hard subject to approach without her taking it the wrong way, clearly she is unaware of her behaviour.  I’d say back off a little, invite her the odd time and see how it goes, if she starts piping up again, then you’ll have to tell her at the time it’s happening so she’s aware, what she’s doing, isn’t acceptable behaviour. Let us know how it goes.

Love 2LML

2LML,

I  have a mate who is lovely but when we get in a group of people, really takes the mick, to the point of quite below the belt and boarding on rather mean! I bite back but i don't really wana stoop to her level as i'm not a mean person. I know I need to talk to her. I always like to give people the benefit of the doubt but it’s got to a point where I don’t really wana go out with her anymore as there’s only so much i can take.
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OUR VERDICT:

You do need to speak to her and make her aware she's upsetting you. It could be one of a few things, she either doesn't realise what she’s doing and will be genuinely sorry, or actually is a complete bitch and is fully aware of her actions. She maybe making fun at your expense to make herself feel better! If that’s the case, she clearly doesn’t care for your feelings and we suggest you distance yourself slightly.

Dear 2LML,

My boyfriend really does take me for granted. He doesn't do much round the house, always out with the lads and admitted to cheating on me about a year ago. He is a good person and when he shows he cares, he makes a real effort! I love him very much but am just getting fed up. I don't know how to bring it up because he just starts shouting and then heads down to the pub!

Amy.
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OUR VERDICT:

Sorry to sound harsh but you need to grow a pair huni. You're clearly not happy and deserve way better!! He's cheated and still behaving like an idiot. You need to get rid and find someone who appreciates your time. How often does he actually make an effort? When was the last time he took you out? I suggest you slack him off because if this is how it is now, imagine 5 years down the line (if you last that long, sorry!) Do yourself a favour.

You sound like you are worried to be alone, granted it won't be easy at first but be strong, talk to loved ones and surround yourself with positivity, make plans. You'll be sorted in no time and look back and wonder why you wasted your time.

2LML,

My friend gets horrifically drunk on nights out! She never knows when to stop and is just a nightmare to go out with. You know the night will consist of looking after her and it ruins our night! She knows we would never leave her. She's a great person when she isn't drinking. We've tried chatting to her, she's having none of it!

Kisses x

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OUR VERDICT:

You'll have to find a way of getting it through to her that she's being quite selfish. You don't want to spend the nights constantly watching her back! Some people have no self-control and it's not good.

Tell her that her behaviour is actually quite dangerous, what if you guys weren't there to watch over her? She needs to change her ways othewise threaten not to go out with her anymore. Tell her if she doesn't sort it out, it can risk changing your friendship status. If she's a good mate, she won't want that to happen and think twice before downing that 8th shot!

Dear 2LML,

My othyer half loves to gamble and go down the pub rather than spend time with his family. He will often lie about where he is going and tell me he's working when in fact he's been seen in the bookies. He know it a problem and it's causing problems between us, I've tried to talk to him about it but it often ends in rows. I don't want the children growing up, thinking this is the norm!! Really don't know what to do about it.....

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OUR VERDICT:

Ok, well at least he's gambling and not having an affair! Not that we're condoning this behaviour. You need to try and make him understand this is not only a problem for him but it’s affecting the family. The children deserve a better example of a father and he needs to step up and start putting the family first!

Tell him the problem needs to be addressed and suggest seeing someone about his gambling and drinking. There are really supportive groups such as Gamblers and Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) It won’t be easy for either of you. If you love him and truly believe you can work through it, you’ll both have to be strong for each other and the children. Do what it takes to make things good again, unfortunately you may have to be the instigator of all this, do what a wife does best and keep nagging until he cracks! If he’s not willing to help himself and things get worse, I suggest you need to make an executive decision as to whether you want to stick around. x

Dear 2LML,

I really fancy my friend, we've been friends a long time and she knows how I feel about her. She is very sweet but the minute she's had a drink, she flirts and cops off with people infront of me. I know I don't have a leg to stand on because she is entitled to do what she wants, I've even not gone on nights out so she doesn't feel awkward but she insists I come. I don't really want to distance myself because we have the same friendship group and i don't want to make anyone else feel they have to pick sides. Help!!

Much Love, Tanya.
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Verdict:

We always say a good friend is someone who would treat you the way they wish to be treated. We understand your predicament and agree it shouldn't have to be you to distance yourself but maybe some time away just to clear your head and figure out if she is really what you want. We say you deserve better, take up a new hobby or activity or do something you wouldn't normally do, you never know who you'll meet and we feel it could be someone more suited. Sounds like she likes seeing you jealous so we say ditch her and find someone who will appreciate you.

Big Love x

Hey 2LML,

My best mate recently came onto the guy I really fancied right infront of me. I’m gutted because she knows how I feel about him. I’ve been thinking about pulling her a side and having a word because this isn’t the first time she’s done this but I don’t want to be one of those people who put guys before mates. What would you suggest?

From Clare from Wigan

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Verdict:

THEN

You’re right, this is a case of putting mates before guys and clearly that’s something your supposed ‘mate’ isn’t doing. If she knows how you feel about him and has done this kind of stuff before, she clearly isn’t a good friend. This is not acceptable and the issue needs to be addressed.
Pull her aside and tell her you feel she’s not playing fair, that you have confided in her about liking a guy and that you feel uncomfortable by her actions. I can’t help but think shes the sort of person that thinks its ok to come onto mates bfs too?

Give her a chance after your talk and if it continues

…ditch that bitch! x

The 2 Love My Lips Crew