Hello 2LML

I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years since the start of August and really love him. About 2 weeks ago I found our something that has ruined our strong bond since. I'm very close to my sister and we are of similar age and share everything. She told me that her and my boyfriend had kissed at a houseparty.

I happened to be working that night so I couldn't go but i remember being really peeved because I knew it would be good.She told me that they had all played drinking games and definitely had one too many. My heart was literally pounding while she was telling me. She went on to explain how both she and my boyfriend ended up sitting outside on the decking talking, when before she knew it, he had kissed her but then quickly pulled away.I wanted to pick her up and shake her but instead, I just stormed out of the room and have not spoken a word to her since.

As for my boyfriend, I have kicked him to the curb and deleted his texts and number but its not stopping him coming around trying to tell me it was nothing but  a drunken mistake. Im not convined but I really love him, even after what has happened. He has treated me really well for our whole relationship up until now. I also can't bare seeing my sister so upset. She hasn't left her room in about a week. Do you think it was just a drunken blunder or should I ditch both of them?
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Our verdict:

Well, well, well! This is a tough one girly. You are dealing with not only a boyfriend, but with a dear family member. Firstly, that must have been positively awful hearing that from your sister who you previously said is very close to you. I like to give a straight opinion but I really don't have one.

I understand that they were wrong and although alcohol was involved, neither your sis or boyfriend can blame the kiss on that. I do believe in second chances at times though and if your sister and boyfriend are really genuine about their apologies then maybe you should listen to their explanations. I'm not saying to jump back into anything but I reckon that sometimes, good people make bad mistakes. Also, It would be such a shame to ruin a sisterly bond over something that hopefully meant nothing.

What you need to do is see how genuine they both are and make your decision either way. I would definitely hold back from getting into a relationship with your boyfriend right now but maybe have a think and you could try re-build trust and get things working at some stage!

Dear 2Love my Lips ladies,

I am pretty nervous about this problem I am about to present to you.I am really into this guy I met during the summer and am still seeing him. We really click and I have a great laugh with him, including great sexual chemistry.


The other day I went over to his but he was in the shower, so I propped myself on his bed and waited.Two minutes later, his blackberry began to vibrate and I saw his mum was trying to call so I answered and explained he was in the shower. I hung up and saw that his video files were open. I was a little bit taken back when i saw that the images on the non-playing video's seemed to be my boyfriend dressed up as a female.
I didn't panic for a moment as i guessed it was some joke between his friends and him.

It wasn't until I watched these videos that I realised my boyfriend was indeed, a blooming cross-dresser!
He introduced himself in each video as 'Becky' and went on to talk in an attempted female voice for the camera. The feminine clothes were stuffed to make boobs and he wore a full face of make-up and a long wig.


I am so freaked out and upset if i'm honest! He is so manly normally and I would never have guessed something like this! I want to confront the situation but how and what should i say?

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Our verdict:

Okay this is a very, very tricky story! I am glad you didn't automatically ditch your guy on first glance of these video's as there may actually be an explanation to them!

You stated how he is normally very masculine and shows no signs of this kind of behaviour so why not just confront him?  I know, I know, you're thinking how can i possibly bring this topic up, but believe me, once you get it out of the way then you will feel a whole lot better. If it turns out he actually is a cross-dresser then you need to be honest with him about what he is doing and how it effects you!

He may tell you he cannot stop and this is a part of him and always will be, but this is the worst outcome possible. It may even be that this is a joke of some sort or even a project you don't know about so make sure to ask! It also may be a silly phase he is going through but it is fair enough if that freaks you out and you break up over it eventually. I say definitely talk to him first though, especially if you like this guy a lot!

Dear 2LML,

I was recently on holiday with my girls and got board so decided to prop up at the bar with a jug of sangria, yum!! So I turn and a group of hotties parked up next to me, hello!!! At this exact time, the MASSIVE baguette i'd ordered was propped infront of me, that was a conversation starter!!!

The 'Mark Wright' look-a-like of the group turned and said 'are you really gona eat all that piggy?' How rude! Well we all got talking and got onto the subject of relationships, interesting!!
He was married and began telling us about the affairs he'd had and how it 'was just human nature!!' We were literally taken back by how he was convinced he was doing nothing worng. He kept going on about how he loves his wife and kids but was on the pull that night and would return home guilt-free!!
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Our verdict:

Is he for real? of course he is. Some guys have no shame!! We've come to the conclusion, we honestly don't undersand what goes through some peoples heads!!!! The ladies can be just as bad. You hear of affairs etc and even though it is their business and their life, no-one ever really know what goes on. I suppose people have their own reasons for submitting to temptation but for this guy to be married, have children and shouting about his affairs, it just shows pure disrespect and his lack of sanctity for marriage. Definite DITCH!!

They just don't realise the amount of people they are huting and can't love their other halves THAT much....keep it in your pants!! You've taken a sacred vow. We are big believers in karma, one day he'll realise and lets hope it's a little too late !!  Stories such as this is why some people lack faith and have a certain cynicism towards love - keep the faith people, there are good 'uns out there!!

Dear 2LML,

My othyer half loves to gamble and go down the pub rather than spend time with his family. He will often lie about where he is going and tell me he's working when in fact he's been seen in the bookies. He know it a problem and it's causing problems between us, I've tried to talk to him about it but it often ends in rows. I don't want the children growing up, thinking this is the norm!! Really don't know what to do about it.....

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OUR VERDICT:

Ok, well at least he's gambling and not having an affair! Not that we're condoning this behaviour. You need to try and make him understand this is not only a problem for him but it’s affecting the family. The children deserve a better example of a father and he needs to step up and start putting the family first!

Tell him the problem needs to be addressed and suggest seeing someone about his gambling and drinking. There are really supportive groups such as Gamblers and Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) It won’t be easy for either of you. If you love him and truly believe you can work through it, you’ll both have to be strong for each other and the children. Do what it takes to make things good again, unfortunately you may have to be the instigator of all this, do what a wife does best and keep nagging until he cracks! If he’s not willing to help himself and things get worse, I suggest you need to make an executive decision as to whether you want to stick around. x